This morning I had brunch with three of my favorite people in the world. And as I looked around at them over my coffee, thinking of the hundreds of meals we have shared together over the last few years, I saw us change before my eyes. I can remember Sunday mornings (or more likely early afternoons) with the same girls, give or take other friends as well, just three short years ago — miserably hungover, sweating out last night’s last call while we chugged water, begged the waiter to bring us some toast, and post-mortem’ed the previous night’s antics. This morning we talked about Excel shortcuts, dual screen computer monitors, and sub-par IT service. We called ourselves old and laughed, but the truth of the matter is we are different. That’s not to say we don’t still drink too much on occasion or do things that are wholly ridiculous — we absolutely do. But we are still different.
This weekend Miss PoliSci and I hosted a bridal shower for Miss H at the amazing home Miss PoliSci and her boyfriend have spent that last year lovingly remodeling. She talked of design magazines and light fixtures and granite counter tops. We joked that she finally lives in a “grown-up house” after years of lovable but well-worn rentals. It is a grown up house. It is the kind of house that will grow into a home, not just a place to bide your time while you wait for something else to happen to you.
The shower we threw for Miss H was the kind of shower I’ve always wanted to throw — the kind that my mother (bless her heart) didn’t have to help pay for because I was a poor college student/law student/baby attorney. After a relatively brief bout of panic (for me) the morning of, the shower came together really perfectly — real dishes, fresh flowers, good food, champagne, and lots of love. I felt really proud of what Miss PoliSci and I put together. I thought it felt like Miss H and it felt like us.
We used to talk about boys and clothes and other people — and yes, we still do — but I feel like we talk about them in new ways. We talk about how to communicate with our significant others, how to approach difficult topics in our relationships (romantic and otherwise), how we want to raise our kids (the ones we haven’t actually made yet), how to grow our careers and have families too, how to register for wedding china and how to diversify our 401ks. We are more secure and less petty and more kind, but just as fun, as I ever remember us being. I look around and wonder when we became these women. These smart, confident, self-possessed, powerful women. We have grown into ourselves while we weren’t looking.
But the thing that hasn’t changed about us is our love. I have these friends, these truly amazing friends, who warm my soul. And thank God, that hasn’t changed. Because these women are the foundation of my being. Some of them I’ve known for ten years, some for less than five, some for close to twenty, and some for my entire life. These are the people who make me who I am. Who keep my inner crazy person from taking over. Who enrich my life in ways that none of us will ever truly understand.
I know it’s completely cheesy and over the top but it’s who I am when it comes to my friends. To date, they are the loves of my life. And I am so proud of us. We made friends when we were girls. And then we grew up.