Monthly Archives: April 2011

Starting Over…Again…(aka Week 0)

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I ventured back to WW this morning for the first time since January. Eeep.  I went ahead and reset myself with today’s date and weight as my starting point.  I honestly cannot tell you how many times I’ve started and re-started WW in the last 6 years.  I am probably not the best endorsement for the program, but really, I believe WW works.  The problem arises when I don’t work.  I’m trying really hard to remedy that problem, for a myriad of reasons, including but not limited to:

1) Freewheel:  We leave in 7 weeks (holy crap) for our week-long bike trek across the State of Oklahoma.  I know I will have more fun and be able to ride longer and faster if I lose some weight between now and then. Must get it together. Oh, and get in some serious training rides!

2) Miami:  I leave in 76 days (whoop!) for a 4-day girls trip to South Beach. I could not be more excited to get out-of-town and feel the sand beneath my feet.  I think as we get older it is really important to have trips/events on the calendar so there are things to look forward to.  When all I can see for my future is the same thing day in and day out, I get completely freaked.

3) Class Reunion:  This is much farther off (a little more than a year), but makes for a great long-term goal.  While Miss PoliSci, Miss Rose, Mrs. Bookworm and I are still debating our attendance, I want to be prepared to attend should we decide to do so.  And I want to feel good about myself when I get there.

I’ve also been really inspired lately by my favorite contestant on this season of the Biggest Loser, Hannah.  For whatever reason, I really relate to her and she has become such a rock star on the show.  You can tell how much her personality has changed and how confident she feels now.  I totally want that.  So I am officially back on the wagon, where I’d really like to stay…for good.

In order to firm up my commitment and to gain some additional accountability, I decided to share my short-term goal here: 20 pounds before by Miami!  I think it is totally doable, if I am consistent, which is always my biggest struggle.

What goals are you currently working on? How do you stay consistent in your eating/exercise plans?

Coming Attractions: Photos of the vegetable garden planted by Mrs. BW and myself, 101 in 1001 and the clothes I want to wear in Miami!

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Getting inside my head…

During my weekly reading (last week) of Postsecret (if you don’t read it, you should), I came across a secret that struck me in an incredibly profound way.

Um, wow. I stared at it for an incredibly long time.  The “secret” completely resonated with me and I found that surprising.  On my fave show, The Biggest Loser, the contestants are often forced (by Jillian, of course) to overcome their conscious and subconscious emotional struggles with food/weight/obesity.  I have always had a hard time identifying how I got to where I am today with my body.  Lots of previous contestants have been through difficult experiences — accidents, loss of close family members, abusive situations, etc. — that seemed to trigger their weight gain or that have held them back from losing weight in the past.

I honestly can’t say that I have been through anything truly difficult (fortunately).  Sure, I’ve had my heart broken and law school was a tortuous experience, but I don’t think that either of these trials were solely responsible for or triggers for my weight gain.  I was always “bigger” than my peers, though looking back, I really just developed earlier than my friends and had a more muscular body type, but I didn’t really start my consistent weight gain until after my junior year of high school.  (It’s all relative now, isn’t it? If I could go back in time, I would have worn a bikini every day from May 2000 through August 2001.)  Some years have been worse in terms of weight gain than others, but I can’t figure out what emotionally points me towards food and what holds me back from my potential in terms of losing weight.

So when I saw the secret and felt so connected to it, I surprised myself.  I wouldn’t normally think that I am afraid of post-weight loss rejection, at least not consciously. However, earlier in the day that I saw the secret, I had been talking to Miss PR, — well, I’d been throwing a pity party about how all my friends are in lurve and I am not, and she was listening — and she pointed out that in a recent discussion we’d had on pretty much the same topic I had said I wasn’t ready to meet anyone because I felt self-conscious about my appearance.  Well played, Miss PR, well played.

There are so many layers to body image and weight loss and self-confidence that it’s hard sometimes to tie everything together and see how it all affects you.  But she’s right —  I have said that I don’t feel good enough about myself to date (or be set up, which is what PR wants to do to me I’m sure…) and at the same time, I feel so ready to have a partner and so jealous of my friends who have found their mates.  So it seems that until I feel better about myself, I won’t be ready to meet someone but I continually fail in my attempts to lose weight and feel better about myself, which leads me to think maybe there is some connection between all of this and the secret — that I am afraid that I will lose the weight and still be alone and that will be just as hard.

But I know that it’s hard for everyone — fit or not, and I think that if I am going to be alone, it would probably be more fun if I can shop anywhere I want to (you know how I feel about plus size clothes).  I’m trying to spend some time on the emotional side of my body issues in an effort to work out the physical/nutritional side.  Bear with me — I’m sure this exploration will lead to many more blog posts about the connections between my emotional and physical well-being.

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Filed under Health, Love, Self

Menu Plan Monday: Week of April 4th

I haven’t posted a menu in a while, but I’m trying (as usual) to get back on track. Here’s this week’s game plan:

Monday:  Ultimate Salad from Big Al’s (Miss H pointed out that this is not actually on the menu on Big Al’s website but  it contains the following: spinach, avocado, sunflower seeds, tomatoes, turkey, hard-boiled egg, red cabbage, carrots, black beans, onions, jalapeno, sprouts, cheese, and some delicious secret spices — Awesome sauce); Baked Basa Fish Fillet w/ homemade mango salsa (mango, red onion, cilantro, jalapeno, & lime juice), asparagus & sautéed spinach

Tuesday: Potato Supreme*, Crock Pot Beef Stroganoff w/ egg noodles — I haven’t made this before but I got some stew meat from the co-op this week and wanted to use it in a non-stew way so I cruised several recipes online to find something that would work. I’ll let you know how it turns out!

Wednesday:  Crock Pot Beef Stroganoff, Basa Fish Tacos w/ Mango Salsa

Thursday:  Crock Pot Beef Stroganoff, Potato Supreme

Friday: Crock Pot Beef Strog, Appetizers with the girls pre-KOL Concert! Woot woot!

* I grew up on Potato Supremes.  Apparently some restaurant in Tulsa used to serve them and my parents decided to incorporate them into our family dining repertoire thirty some odd years ago. Basically, a Potato Supreme is a baked potato topped with whatever you want/have. I usually go with ham or turkey, lettuce (must be iceberg for this, but I have no idea why), cottage cheese, tomatoes, onions, black beans, salsa and/or salad dressing.  Essentially it’s a salad on top of a baked potato — easy, filling, relatively healthy depending on your topping choices!

I meant to post this picture last week (I think) of a dinner I made.  I think there is something so satisfying about eating a really colorful meal and this one definitely hit the spot!

Baked salmon on a bed of sautéed spinach & bell peppers served with steamed broccoli and Mediterranean curry flavored couscous!

 

Looking forward to many colorful meals this spring — the Cherry Street Farmers Market opens this Saturday, April 9th at 7:00 a.m. Do yourself a favor and go early. And have a breakfast burrito — they are divine.  Actually, do me a favor and sleep in so I can get the best produce picks of the week!

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