Category Archives: Career

She lives!

I know you’ve probably started to worry that I’ve given up the blogosphere in the last two months, or worse, you probably thought I was abducted, and by abducted I mean I ran away with the lead guitarist of Journey a la Michaele Salahi.  Good news, I am actually alive and relatively well.  I am a little sad about the lack of Journey band members in my life, or band members in general for that matter, but alas, I promise I won’t stop believin’ that some day I will find a musician who can tolerate my tone deafness. Too much? Too much.  Anyway, I’m sure you’ll sleep much better tonight knowing that this bitch is back…to blogging that is.

So, what’s been going on lately? Basically everything. The last two and a half months have been the most overwhelming and exciting I’ve had since I finished law school/took and passed the bar exam.  I have so much to tell you that it seems impossible to start, but I’m going to try to get you all caught up on the on-goings of the big move! I feel like I should start at the beginning….

Friday, June 17th

Mrs. V sent me a g-chat (I think) telling me that one of the attorneys in her office was leaving and asking if I might be interested in the position. My immediate reaction? No. Which seems really hilarious now, but that’s what happened.  You see the job was in Oklahoma City and I am a tried-and-true Tulsa snob for life. It seemed obvious that I wouldn’t want to move to Oklahoma City.  After work I gave her a call to talk about her co-worker leaving because I knew she’d want to dish a bit and she informed me that she had emailed our law school crew (formerly known by another section-mate as “The Clicky Group”) and let them know about the opening too.  One of our friends seemed seriously interested and was planning to send Mrs. V his resume.

Saturday, June 18th

The next day I went to the lake with my parents for casino night and Father’s Day. Over dinner, I told them in passing about the job. (I feel like it is semi-relevant to mention that I had recently been rejected for a what I considered my “dream job.”)  And then seemingly out of nowhere I started talking about how scared I was that I would never be able to get a new job because I was a super average law student and I didn’t have any connections and I really wasn’t passionate about a particular area of the law. And omg, what if ten years down the line I was still doing the exact same thing?! These are the thoughts I usually push way, way down (I’m really good at burying my feelings) because when I think about them that clawing panicky feeling wraps around my neck (please someone say they know what I am talking about) and spin into a totally dark and twisty state.  My mom said there was no harm in sending Mrs. V my resume and that maybe it would be good interview experience if nothing else.  This is when the wheels really started to turn for me.

Monday, June 20th

I emailed Mrs. V and told her maybe I was more interested in the job than I initially thought and that I’d like to discuss it further. I called her after work and she gave me the real job description.  The pros, the cons, her loves and hates, what she thought I might get paid, and why she thought it would be a good move for me. I will say that there is something really refreshing and wonderful about being able to speak openly and honestly with someone who really knows you in this situation. She really didn’t sugar coat anything and I knew she would be able to accurately assess whether the position would be a good fit for me.  I told her I’d email her my resume and references in the morning…

Wednesday, June 22nd

…but I didn’t.  I got nervous. I freaked out. I loved my life in Tulsa. I had great friends, a wonderful support network, a really cute house, two book clubs, kickball, and some great sorority alumnae organizations. I was in a really good, albeit busy, place in Tulsa.  I had always envisioned a life in Tulsa.  I confided in my OKC friends Miss Dubs, Mrs. B and Miss Agnes about the position and (not surprisingly) they were fully on board.  After convincing myself that sending in my resume did not mean I was actually moving, I emailed my resume to Mrs. V around 4:15 p.m.  At 5:00 p.m., she told me she forwarded it on to her boss. Seriously, ten minutes later he emailed me and asked if I’d be able to meet him and Mrs. V for coffee the next day when they were in Tulsa for a hearing. I was completely freaked out by how quickly he responded and wanted to meet but I nervously agreed.  And then I went home and ironed. I know. My mom about died.

Thursday, June 23rd

I told everyone at work that I had a doctor’s appointment. Yes, I lied, but the notice was so short there was nothing else I could do. If I had more lead time, I would have tried to take a vacation day or something, but sometimes that’s just not how life goes. (But seriously, what is the best way to do this?) So I met Mrs. V and the Boss for coffee. For an hour and a half. And it was great. Everything they were telling me sounded like music to my ears. It wasn’t awkward at all and I really felt like they were selling me the job instead of me selling myself to them.  The Boss told me he wanted to make someone an offer by the following Wednesday and that’d he had a few more interviews to conduct.

This is when I started to get excited. I started to let the possibility of Oklahoma City creep in. I looked at gyms and lifegroups and apartments in the City. I thought about what it might be like to relocate.  I thought more and more about how much I wanted to try something new. And I thought about how scary it would be to put in my notice and leave my friends behind.

Wednesday, June 29th

The Boss sent me an email in the afternoon indicating he wanted to talk to me about the position and asking me to give him a call. Naturally, I was thrilled and terrified. I called my mom to ask if I should call immediately and to get a pep talk. She told me to close my office door and call him — what the hell. And then she told me not to accept the position immediately and say I would call him the next day, that was if he offered it to me. So I called. The Boss made me a great offer. I said yes. Immediately. After we decided on a start date for me (which would give me a week off to take my trip to Miami and then two weeks to finish things up at my then-job) I thanked him profusely and hung up to call my mom again. I remember feeling crazy excited and a little reckless and completely horrified about giving my boss my notice.  He was getting ready to be out of the office for ten days so I knew I needed to do it by the next day. My mom forwarded me a notice letter someone had recently given her to use as a model and I decided I’d come in early and give it to him the next day. By this time, the office had cleared out for the afternoon and I realized my boss and I were the only ones remaining in the office. And I got ballsy. I knew if I waited until the next day to tell him, I wouldn’t be able to sleep all night. So I printed out my letter and marched into his office and gave him the business. Okay, I didn’t do that at all, haha. But I did give him the letter, tell him I’d been offered a position in OKC that was a great opportunity for me, and I tell him I wanted to talk about my transition.  He seemed surprised but was really nice and professional about everything.

And then I started calling and texting everyone and feeling completely bubbled up with joy and fear and all of those crazy emotions you feel when you know your life just changed.

That’s how I ended up with a new job in a new town in a crazy short amount of time.  I still plan to get you all the dets on Miami (which was freakin’ fantastic!), my emotional last few weeks in Tulsa, the misery of house-hunting in OKC, how awesome I am at driving a 20-foot moving van, and making my way in a new town and a new office! So obviously there’s lots to talk about and I won’t be gone for long, promise. 😉

What’s new with you? Have you ever made a move for a job? How did you feel leaving your first big-kid job?

PS – Sorry about the super wordy, pic-less post. It probably wasn’t the most interesting thing I’ve ever written but I feel like I need to tell you how I ended up here.

2 Comments

Filed under Career, Etc.

Part II: More Success = Less Marriage?

I realize that in my previous post I didn’t actually offer any opinions on the barrage of questions I presented so shame on me. My personal thoughts:

1. Some people assume that because I am an attorney I am a highly motivated career-oriented individual. Clearly, these people haven’t actually met me.

2. SOME men are threatened by “successful” or “professional” women. (I’m not suggesting that I am either of these things, but there is a common misperception about my profession. See #1)

3. I think , the more highly educated you are, the more of an intellectual snob you are. I am insanely guilty of this. I’m not saying that I don’t associate with people who spent less time in school than I did — these people are my very smart friends who did not waste thousands of dollars on degrees that aren’t necessarily worth it — I am saying that I am more interested in, for mating purposes ONLY, well-educated, intellectual men. I know, ridiculous. I feel bad actually saying it out loud.

So when you add #1, 2, and 3, where does that leave me? Super single! Partially my fault, partially theirs. So is there a man out there who is smart, well-educated and okay with the fact that I am too? Man, I really hope so.

As for being the breadwinner, obviously that’s not really something I can control. You love who you love and sometimes that means traditional roles are reversed in terms of who is bringing home the bacon. My mom has always been the breadwinner in my family and my dad has always had more flexible working hours, which was a huge benefit to us all growing up. It seems to work for them so who is to say it won’t work for me some day? On the other hand, my sister is fortunate enough to stay home with my awesome nephew and that seems like it would be a pretty amazing experience too. Plus, I’m not the most financially disciplined person so being in charge of the family’s dime scares me to death! Really, this isn’t something I can plan for anyway, so I guess there’s really no point it worrying about it now! I think I need to get back to step one: find a mate! Haha.

Leave a comment

Filed under Career, Love

More Success = Less Marriage?

I saw a piece this morning on Good Morning America (legitimate or not, it is my favorite news source) about marriage.  According to GMA, less people are getting married in the United States over all than 30 years ago and 1 in 5 women makes more money than her husband (Woot woot! — not that I think men shouldn’t make money, but I think this stat suggests that we are making some strides on the equal pay for equal work front). One of the women interviewed suggested that African American marriages are down (like 40% down) because more African American women are getting college educations, owning their own businesses, and generally having more success in the professional world so there are less men who for them to date.

You can check out the GMA piece at:

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory?id=9598134

So, of course, this got me thinking about the relationship between professional/financial success and marriage. Men with great jobs and big bank accounts are always winners in my book. (No, I’m not a gold digger. But I appreciate any person who has it together and is on a successful path) But are women who are equally successful at a disadvantage? Did we handicap ourselves on the marriage front because we spent more time in school or we work more than 40 hours a week? Are men threatened by professionally successful women?

The short answer: I have no freakin’ clue. But I have thought about this and discussed it with friends, especially Miss Agnes, who is fantastically bright and works her tail off because she wants to be the best attorney she can be. Miss Agnes and I often ponder how we will find our intellectual/professional equals for mates, especially when we’re trapped behind our desks for far too many hours a week. (Okay, to be fair, she works a lot more than I do.)

I was once at a party with Miss Dubs while I was still in law school. A cute, eligible, hunk of a man (Seriously, I feel like hunk was the best word choice to describe him) struck up a conversation with me and it was going well, until he asked what I did. I said I was in grad school. He of course asked what I was studying. I mumbled, between large swigs of my adult beverage, “law.” Long pause. “So you’re in law school?” I shrugged, “Yeah.” Another pause. His response: “I’m gonna go get a drink.” And that was the end of that. Later, I told Miss Dubs that I was never telling anyone I was in law school again. But seriously, does the fact that I’m an attorney push men away? Do I sound scary or intense? Do they think that I’m too successful? (Clearly, they’re confused if that’s what the impression is!) And is it about all professional/career-driven women? Or do people just think that lawyers are just plain scary in general?

Furthermore, the statistic about 1 in 5 women being breadwinners seems like a step in the right direction for the feminist movement, but (I feel incredibly guilty saying this) maybe I don’t want to be the breadwinner. It seems like a lot of pressure. And I want the option to stay home with my hypothetical children at some point. I feel like if I were the breadwinner, I would have to go back to work. I mean, technically, even if I’m not the breadwinner, I will still very likely have to go back to work. Is it anti-feminist of me to not want to make more money than my hypothetical husband?

I could probably talk about this for days and days… Thoughts? Feelings?

7 Comments

Filed under Career, Love