Tag Archives: Weight loss

#2012ismyyear

Near the end of 2011, I had a fabulously long lunch with Miss PR, and we talked about our lives and the ways we’d grown and changed over 2011. And Miss PR boldly declared that she really believed 2012 would be our year. If you follow me on twitter (@Qtrlifeconfused) you may have seen me use the hashtag #2012ismyyear lately. I’ve adopted it as my mantra for the new year and I’m really using it as my touchstone for my ever-present weight loss quest. I want this to be the year that I really get after it. I haven’t lost a significant amount of weight since 2008. Since then all of my attempts have pretty much been stop-and-start-again to lose the same 5-7 pounds. I need to get over the 5-7 pound hump! I personally need more momentum than that to stay focused. With all of that in mind, I am currently 9.2 pounds down from my highest weight ever (September 2011) and pushing forward towards that 15 pound mark. Here are the things I’m doing this year to help me continue to succeed in this area of my life:

1.  Accountability. Mrs. B has become my weight loss accountability partner so to speak. We text each other our weight every day — talk about keeping you honest! And try to text each other what we eat throughout the day. It really helps to have someone encourage you, help you strategize, and call you out when you are making excuses.

2. Boot Camp. My sister and I signed up for Advanced Boot Camp at the Y and so far, my attendance record is far exceeding my attendance the last time we did this. We meet Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday at 5:30 a.m. I won’t lie, getting up and getting there is a huge struggle sometimes, but knowing that my sister and our trainer, Rachel, will be on me if I’m not definitely helps me get out of bed. I like boot camp because Rachel makes me doing things I would never make myself do — like crab walk. I also think sometimes she just makes up crazy exercises off the top of her head. I am very elliptical/treadmill/stairclimber/weight circuit regimented. I think it’s good for my body to be challenged and to do different exercises every time I’m there.

3. Stationary Bicycle. My parents had a stationary bicycle in their room at the lake for several years but usually when we are at the lake we ride our outside bicycles or run so it wasn’t getting a whole lot of use but it was taking up quite a bit of space. So last weekend while they were in town for my nephew’s birthday, they brought me the bike. And it is in my room. Right next to my bed. Taunting me. “Psssst…..did you work out today?….Do you think that you moved enough to work off that handful of Valentine’s Day candy corn?…..What would Bob Harper say about you watching Biggest Loser like a bump on a log?” I’ve ridden it three times this week — twice as my primary workout and once as a bonus to boot camp — and I actually really like it. The thing is crazy hard, no lie, but I feel really good about pumping out 10 miles in 30 minutes while catching some boob tube.

4. Goals Board. I took all my 2012 goals and wrote them out in brightly colored Sharpies on a big piece of poster board. I hung it on my wall. Now I have to look at them every day. In the past I’ve been guilty of writing goals at the beginning of the year, saving them on my computer somewhere, and ignoring them until the end of the year when I realize I haven’t accomplished 87% percent of them. Not this year. This year I have to look at them every day. Hopefully this will be a good motivator/reminder to stay after it too — on all of my goals.

5. Going to bed. This seems kind of silly but for me 9:30 p.m. is my optimal bed time. It’s what time I went to bed in high school, and it’s what time I have to be in bed if I’m going to get up for boot camp. I believe getting adequate sleep is really important for weight loss and for my overall health. So lately, I’ve been watching less TV and getting in bed early. So far, I really like how it makes me feel and I don’t feel like I’ve been missing out on anything.

What steps are you taking to meet your 2012 goals? How’s it going so far?

 

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Weekly Weigh-in: Week 6

Skipping two weeks of WW is never a good idea…

Gain/loss: + 1.0 pound

Total gain/loss: – 2.4 pounds

Things are clearly moving in the opposite direction I would like for them too, but I suppose only gaining one pound in three weeks of lackadaisical behavior isn’t the worst thing in the world. It isn’t the best either.

This week I’ve done really well with working out so I am definitely pleased with that. Yesterday morning I did what I call a Cardio-athlon — 20 minutes on the treadmill, the elliptical and the stairmaster for a total of 60 intense minutes of cardio.  Not gonna lie, I felt like a rock star.  Staying on each machine for only 20 minutes helps me to push myself for the entire time and keep my heart rate up. Sometimes when I get on the elliptical and set it for 45 minutes, I just don’t work that hard because it seems difficult to keep my intensity up on the elliptical for 45 long minutes. Changing things up works for my short workout attention span.

I also took my measurements yesterday morning.  I haven’t done this in a long time but I know that it is a great way to see changes in your body during a weight loss journey.  I made a new spreadsheet (my current obsession) for them and set calendar reminders every four weeks to re-measure.

Today’s meeting topic at WW was about tracking (i.e. writing down) what you eat. I suck at this. At best, I am a Mon-Wed tracker. Then I weigh-in Thursday morning and lose my mind completely until Sunday night. Not okay. I think I am crappy about tracking for two reasons: 1) Sheer laziness and 2) DENIAL.  If I track it, I have to admit how many points it really was and sometimes I just don’t want to know.  But not tracking is not working for me so my goal for the coming week is to track every day, even if I go over my allotted points by a million, I have to write it down.  I think tracking will help me be more honest with myself about what I’m actually consuming and why the scale isn’t going down right now.

How’s your week going? Any goals for the coming week?

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Crunch Time

Pre-Tour de Cure: Miss PR, Miss M & Me

Things have been a little crazy lately so I’ve been failing at blogging – typical.  I’ve been busy celebrating birthdays and going to the lake and playing with friends and winning kickball games and going on bike rides.  I have not been eating at home and I have not been working out as much as I would like/think I should.  And we leave for Miami in 30 days!

I can’t believe it. The trip will be here before I know it. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m going to make my 20 pounds before Miami goal at this point. But that doesn’t mean I am throwing in the towel.  After all, my weight loss journey is about long term results, right? Plus, even if I don’t lose 20 pounds pre-Miami, I can still lose some weight and feel stronger and healthier and glowier.  So yesterday, I made a crazy menu plan for the next two weeks and hit up the grocery store.  Normally, I only shop in one-week increments but since I am not a great budgeter and I haven’t been going to the store as regularly as I should, I figured it would be best to knock out two weeks (roughly) worth of meals so I had no excuses for not eating well.

June 6th: Mayo-less Tuna Salad; Grilled Portabello Wrap (I had the Tuna Salad last night too and it was SO easy and delicious!)

June 7th:  Grilled Portabello Wrap; Bun-less Turkey Burger with Baked Sweet Potato Chips

June 8th:  Turkey Burger Wrap w/ 100 calorie Guacamole pack; Book Club (I may make a smoothie before I go to curb hunger so I don’t overeat  like I usually do!)

June 9th: Potato Supreme; Club Wrap

June 10th:  Potato Supreme; TBD

June 11th:  Lunch with the Fam (guessing, at El Rio Verde!); Lake

June 12th:  Great-uncle’s 80th Birthday Party Luncheon; PW’s Chicken w/ Garlic and Tomatoes

June 13th:  Leftover Chicken; Baked Mahi Mahi w/ Spinach and Brussels Sprouts

June 14th:  Turkey Burger Wrap; Baked Tilapia w/ Broccoli and Sweet Potato

June 15th:  Leftover Chicken; Baked Mahi Mahi w/ Spinach

June 16th:  Turkey Burger Wrap; Leftover Chicken

I may have to hit up the grocery store at some point in the next two weeks to replenish my produce selection but other than that I am totally set up! It feels really, really nice to have a game plan.  Now, to get back into the gym routine too….

What have you been eating lately? Does having a menu plan help you stay on track?

PS – Just wanted to post a quick shout out to one of my favorites, Geoffersonspin — He not only completed his second Lake Tahoe Century for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society yesterday but also proposed to his lovely girlfriend, now fiancée! YAY! So happy/excited for him!

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Weekly Weigh-In: Week 2

I can’t believe it has been a week since my last post.  I guess I haven’t been feeling very inspired lately. Thanks for hanging with me anyway. This week I worked on eating most of my points for breakfast/lunch/snacks and then having a much lighter dinner.  I think it went really well.  The results of this week’s WW weigh-in:

Weekly Gain/Loss:  – 1.6 pounds

Total Gain/Loss:  – 5.0 pounds

At WW, they like to recognize lots of milestones on the road to your goal weight — 5% of your weight lost, 10% of your weight lost, 16 weeks of membership, and every 5 pounds you lose.  For me these milestones make up mini-goals to aim for along the way. So today, I hit my first baby goal — 5 pounds down!

My 5 pound star! The picture was much better on my phone. Fail.

The topic at the WW meeting this week was people who support/don’t support your weight loss efforts.  The leader mentioned something about a lot people being closet WWers — i.e. they don’t tell their friends and/or family that they are on WW or trying to make healthy lifestyle changes.  I was in the closet for a really, really long time with my weight loss challenges so this really struck a chord with me.

I’ve been trying to lose weight off and on since I was 16.  I have tried almost everything you can try: WW, Body-for-Life, the Grapefruit Diet, simple calorie counting, weight loss pills, etc.  (For the record, my greatest success came while on WW in 2008 – I lost 25 pounds.)  I used to be really secretive about my attempts to lose weight.  I think there are several reasons for this including that when I was young I didn’t want anyone to know that I truly struggled with food.  As a 16/17-year-old athlete, you would like to think that worrying about what you were eating wouldn’t be a huge issue, but for me it was.  (Ah, what I wouldn’t give to go back to that 145-pound svelte volleyball player/cheerleader…) I felt embarrassed and I felt like if I admitted that I was trying to lose weight then I was also admitting that I was fat.

As I got older, pride started coming into play in a way as well.  I thought that if I pretended my size didn’t bother me and that if I didn’t act like I thought I looked bad, then no one else would be bothered or think that I looked overweight.  For a while, this seemed to work.  In the few times I did tell people how much I weighed they always seemed surprised and I prided myself on carrying my weight well.

But eventually, as I got bigger and bigger, these coping and defense mechanisms stopped working for me.  And somehow (although I honestly can’t recall how), I ended up here,  putting my weight loss struggle out there for the whole internet to see.  The funny thing is, it isn’t really the whole world who is aware of it because of this blog. It’s my friends.  It is the people who I hold the closest to my heart that I have hidden my struggle from for so long who now know how hard it is for me sometimes.

The beautiful part is that by telling people how much being overweight sucks and how much I want to feel better physically and emotionally, I gave my friends the opportunity to show me love and support.  By sharing some of my most secret feelings, I have deepened my relationships and learned to appreciate how much the people who love me actually love me.  My family has always supported my weight loss efforts but now I have an even broader network of people who are willing to openly celebrate my successes and share in my struggles and split a salad with me after spin class.  I think that some/most of my friends have probably known for a long time that I was unhappy with my weight on some level, but now we can talk about it.  Now, they can help me in ways that I wasn’t open to before because I didn’t want to talk about it.  Being closed-off about my weight shut out my potentially biggest support base.

If I could go back maybe I would have shared more sooner, but maybe I wouldn’t have.  It took me ten years to get to this place and as difficult as it has been, it was also an important part of my process.  So today, I want to thank my friends for their continued love, support and encouragement.  You guys rock my world every day.

Is it difficult for you to open up to people about your weight struggles?  Who do you turn to for support?

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Weekly Weigh-In: Week 1

Okay, I know technically this should be my week 2 but last week as a gigantic catastrophe which I will explain shortly. So this morning, I hit up my WW meeting for the first time since my April restart. And (drum roll please….) things went well!

Weekly Gain/Loss:  – 3.4 pounds

Total Gain/Loss:  – 3.4 pounds

Thank goodness! I’d love to say that this was the result of two weeks of diligence and hard work, but that would totally be a lie.  Last Tuesday Mom QLC took a spill in her parking garage at work and shattered both wrists.  No bueno.  So Tuesday night was spent at the hospital.  And while she was in surgery, I started feeling badly.  By Wednesday morning feeling badly was a full-blown stomach virus that took about five days to run its course. I was les miserables.  I spent the early parts of this week working to get back to normal and trying to not gain back all of the weight I lost from being sick. I think it went pretty well actually.

In other news:

1) I registered for the Tour de Cure with fellow bloggers, Fat Ass to Fit Ass and Miss PR.  Tour de Cure is an annual cycling event raising money for the American Diabetes Association.  The event is June 4th and I have signed up to ride 25 miles. If you’re interested in supporting me/Team Fat Ass, click here! (And thanks!)

2)  Due to Mom QLC’s significant injuries, she won’t be able to ride a bike for a while. As a result, the fam decided to forgo our planned Freewheel trip this year. I’m kind of bummed, but I felt ill-prepared at this point so maybe it will be for the best. I can get my cycling fill in during the Tour de Cure and the MS 150 (Team Red Lantern Cycling is back in action!).

Our hotel - The Marriott South Beach

3) Only 62 days until Miami! I seriously cannot wait for this trip. I have countdown calendars at work and at home.  I don’t think I’ve been on a real vacation (with a plane and a beach and more than a long weekend) since my post-bar Mexico trip with Miss Dubs.  So far the trip has served as excellent motivation for eating well and exercising.  I want to feel good while I am there. I don’t want to worry about feeling super self-conscious.  It will be really nice to just enjoy myself knowing that I worked hard to look and feel the best I possibly could while I am there.

My goals for the coming week are to finally get my life back, haha. Being sick and helping take care of my mom got me all kinds of off kilter.  I’m ready to make a menu and go to the grocery store and be a little bit normal.  Miss PoliSci and I are also discussing signing up for a Couch-to-5k program with a local running store for some additional accountability.  I’ve started the program twice but for a variety of reasons (cough, excuses, cough) haven’t kept up with it. I would like to get my running legs back under me since it is the easiest way for me to workout at the lake in the summer time.

What goals are you working on this week? How are you preparing for shorts/swimsuit weather and summer trips?

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Starting Over…Again…(aka Week 0)

Click image for source.

I ventured back to WW this morning for the first time since January. Eeep.  I went ahead and reset myself with today’s date and weight as my starting point.  I honestly cannot tell you how many times I’ve started and re-started WW in the last 6 years.  I am probably not the best endorsement for the program, but really, I believe WW works.  The problem arises when I don’t work.  I’m trying really hard to remedy that problem, for a myriad of reasons, including but not limited to:

1) Freewheel:  We leave in 7 weeks (holy crap) for our week-long bike trek across the State of Oklahoma.  I know I will have more fun and be able to ride longer and faster if I lose some weight between now and then. Must get it together. Oh, and get in some serious training rides!

2) Miami:  I leave in 76 days (whoop!) for a 4-day girls trip to South Beach. I could not be more excited to get out-of-town and feel the sand beneath my feet.  I think as we get older it is really important to have trips/events on the calendar so there are things to look forward to.  When all I can see for my future is the same thing day in and day out, I get completely freaked.

3) Class Reunion:  This is much farther off (a little more than a year), but makes for a great long-term goal.  While Miss PoliSci, Miss Rose, Mrs. Bookworm and I are still debating our attendance, I want to be prepared to attend should we decide to do so.  And I want to feel good about myself when I get there.

I’ve also been really inspired lately by my favorite contestant on this season of the Biggest Loser, Hannah.  For whatever reason, I really relate to her and she has become such a rock star on the show.  You can tell how much her personality has changed and how confident she feels now.  I totally want that.  So I am officially back on the wagon, where I’d really like to stay…for good.

In order to firm up my commitment and to gain some additional accountability, I decided to share my short-term goal here: 20 pounds before by Miami!  I think it is totally doable, if I am consistent, which is always my biggest struggle.

What goals are you currently working on? How do you stay consistent in your eating/exercise plans?

Coming Attractions: Photos of the vegetable garden planted by Mrs. BW and myself, 101 in 1001 and the clothes I want to wear in Miami!

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Getting inside my head…

During my weekly reading (last week) of Postsecret (if you don’t read it, you should), I came across a secret that struck me in an incredibly profound way.

Um, wow. I stared at it for an incredibly long time.  The “secret” completely resonated with me and I found that surprising.  On my fave show, The Biggest Loser, the contestants are often forced (by Jillian, of course) to overcome their conscious and subconscious emotional struggles with food/weight/obesity.  I have always had a hard time identifying how I got to where I am today with my body.  Lots of previous contestants have been through difficult experiences — accidents, loss of close family members, abusive situations, etc. — that seemed to trigger their weight gain or that have held them back from losing weight in the past.

I honestly can’t say that I have been through anything truly difficult (fortunately).  Sure, I’ve had my heart broken and law school was a tortuous experience, but I don’t think that either of these trials were solely responsible for or triggers for my weight gain.  I was always “bigger” than my peers, though looking back, I really just developed earlier than my friends and had a more muscular body type, but I didn’t really start my consistent weight gain until after my junior year of high school.  (It’s all relative now, isn’t it? If I could go back in time, I would have worn a bikini every day from May 2000 through August 2001.)  Some years have been worse in terms of weight gain than others, but I can’t figure out what emotionally points me towards food and what holds me back from my potential in terms of losing weight.

So when I saw the secret and felt so connected to it, I surprised myself.  I wouldn’t normally think that I am afraid of post-weight loss rejection, at least not consciously. However, earlier in the day that I saw the secret, I had been talking to Miss PR, — well, I’d been throwing a pity party about how all my friends are in lurve and I am not, and she was listening — and she pointed out that in a recent discussion we’d had on pretty much the same topic I had said I wasn’t ready to meet anyone because I felt self-conscious about my appearance.  Well played, Miss PR, well played.

There are so many layers to body image and weight loss and self-confidence that it’s hard sometimes to tie everything together and see how it all affects you.  But she’s right —  I have said that I don’t feel good enough about myself to date (or be set up, which is what PR wants to do to me I’m sure…) and at the same time, I feel so ready to have a partner and so jealous of my friends who have found their mates.  So it seems that until I feel better about myself, I won’t be ready to meet someone but I continually fail in my attempts to lose weight and feel better about myself, which leads me to think maybe there is some connection between all of this and the secret — that I am afraid that I will lose the weight and still be alone and that will be just as hard.

But I know that it’s hard for everyone — fit or not, and I think that if I am going to be alone, it would probably be more fun if I can shop anywhere I want to (you know how I feel about plus size clothes).  I’m trying to spend some time on the emotional side of my body issues in an effort to work out the physical/nutritional side.  Bear with me — I’m sure this exploration will lead to many more blog posts about the connections between my emotional and physical well-being.

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