Today, I’m just not feeling it. I know I went way overboard this weekend. I know that no matter how perfect I am for the next three days I will probably have gained weight when I weigh-in on Thursday. I know I will have to post that here and explain away (for no one’s benefit except my own) why I did this or didn’t do that or gained this much.
I’m annoyed. And disappointed. And frustrated. I know that I can’t expect perfection from myself, and I really haven’t, but the way I ate on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, you would have thought I was trying to put on weight to make the Varsity Football team. Don’t worry, no scrawny O-lineman here.
So now the challenges are: 1) getting back on the wagon and 2) pinpointing what lead to this undisciplined behavior.
1) I made myself a delicious Black Bean Burger for lunch and I feel better already. It was colorful and filling. I’ve already planned my post-work workout and I am ready to get back in the gym and keep listening to Mockingjay on my iPod.
2) This is the hard part. I’m not entirely sure what contributed to my weekend eating mayhem. I know that part of it was a result of Miss H’s Fantastic Fiasco birthday bash. There were lots of yummy snacks and the cocktails flowed, which meant that yesterday all I wanted was food, glorious food. My solution to a hangover usually involves Ramen noodles, copious amounts of Diet Dr. Pepper, and either something spicy or something fried. Hell, sometimes it’s both. I mean, nothing about a salad screams hangover cure. That said, I ate 3 bad for me meals yesterday. Last night, I felt fine. I wasn’t even hungry really, but I felt like I should eat dinner because it was dinner time and I didn’t want to cook. I also ate more than I should have on Friday for lunch and dinner and on Saturday for lunch — to coat my stomach for the night’s festivities, natch. Basically, I was completely out of control.
Clearly, drinking leads to more eating for me. I don’t drink heavily that often so I don’t think that a bigger lunch on Saturday before the party and/or on Sunday after the party would be that big of a deal, IF I hadn’t eaten like crazy for 3 days straight. The problem is really that I went completely rogue for 3 solid days. And now I feel guilty and groddy.
I think part of the problem is that I was getting bored with the food I’ve been eating. I think it would be beneficial for me to start halving recipes so they make less so I don’t have to eat 4-5 servings of the same meal in a week. Also, the chili I made last week just wasn’t that good so I know that didn’t help me out.
My other problem is social. Last week I had several fun outings and I have several more this week. It was really, really fun, but it is also usually detrimental to my food/exercise choices. My friends are incredibly supportive and encouraging, but when we are out and about I don’t want to order a salad or only have one glass of wine. For me, food is often a part of making merry and I don’t want to “miss out.” I know that I need to work on reforming my attitudes toward food, but I also need to remember that this year I promised myself (and all of you) that I would focus on my HEALTH. And sometimes that means I need to stay home when I feel like my will power just isn’t there for the week.
I plan on coming up with some small goals and rewards to go along with them to post this week. I think/hope having a few smaller, concrete goals in mind will help me when my resolve is waning.
And a couple of things to end on a more positive note:
1) I made Lighter Buffalo Chicken Dip for the party on Saturday night and it was seriously good. I just scooped it up on celery sticks. Also, it was so EASY to make. Definitely a recipe keeper.
2) A little bragging – The playlist I made for the party was literally a masterpiece. Every time a song came on and people said, “OMG, I love this song!” my heart went all aflutter with pride. Obviously, I still feel pretty darn good about it today.
At least I can be proud of the musical masterpiece I created this weekend. Time to let everything else go. . .
What helps you stay motivated? How do you recover from major eating mishaps?