Shifting Focus

As previously mentioned, I’m a total wedding junkie and my fave wedding blogging website is  I have a giant girl/relationship crush on Mrs. Pretzel and in this post she pretty much sums up everything I want to focus on right now.  In the post she talks a lot about faith and praying for Mr. Pretzel (before they met) and her future life with Mr. Pretzel.  And she said this:

In the later half of my tumultuous twenties there came a point in time where I decided that I was through with dating. I needed to focus on myself and my relationship with friends, family and God. I was confident that if I did those things that I would know when I was ready to date and meet my future husband. I had no idea how long it would take, and to be honest, I didn’t think about it. I worked at becoming a happier, more well-balanced Pretzel. I strengthened relationships with family and with other women. I focused on work, faith, friends, and family.

I felt like this passage just called to me.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but sometimes you read something or hear something or see something that speaks so clearly to you that you can’t ignore it or pretend it wasn’t meant for you.  Mrs. Pretzel said everything I’ve been thinking about and said it in a way challenged me to do more. And better.

I feel like I have spent a lot of time in 2010 trying to be a better me.  And in a lot of ways I think I have been successful.  I am more satisfied in my job than I have ever been, I have cast a wider social net through church and book clubs and my sorority, I have found a place to give back to the community that I am truly passionate about, and I have gotten to a better place in several of my friendships.  I’m really proud of all of these things, but there is something I pledged at the beginning of the year that I would do that haven’t.  I honestly haven’t even tried to do it.

I shared several months ago that I was trying to focus this year on being satisfied that God is enough for me.  He is my number One and that my hypothetical spouse one day will be my number Two.  I’ve probably barely even thought about it since I blogged it.  FAIL.  But I think that Mrs. Pretzel essentially said the same thing in her post — the goal is to work on your self so that when God puts the right person in your life your heart is prepared.  I want that. So much.

I also want to feel like a more balanced version of my self. I went from doing nothing during the week and partying like a 22-year-old on the weekends to having a different activity almost every week night and wanting to lay on the couch on the weekends, the ones that I’m actually home anyway.  I want to feel more centered, a little more in control, a little less programmed.

So today I am re-committing to my original plan to shift my focus from worrying where/when/how I’ll meet Mr. Right to finding joy and fulfillment in my God, my family, my friends and my favorite activities.*  I want to minimize the drama and the crap and the filler and to maximize the happiness and the hope and the faith.  I feel like I’ve been waiting for something to happen to me instead investing my efforts into the things that are actually happening around me all the time.  I want to build a fulfilling life for myself so that when I meet someone I’m still rooted to the things that have always been important to me.

So for right now, I’m happy that it’s just my god and me.

How do you find balance in your life? What ways do you feel like you try to draw out your best self and nurture the important relationships in your life?

* I realize this makes it sound like I am sitting at home twiddling my thumbs waiting to meet some hypothetical person.  That’s not entirely true.  I really do have a wonderful life that is full of awesome people, but at my age and stage in life it is really difficult not to be romantic relationship focused.



Filed under Faith, Love

2 responses to “Shifting Focus

  1. Lou Ann

    You know, when you find you “Mr. Pretzel” – he’s definitely going to be one lucky guy.

    • quarterlifeconfused

      You have no idea how much I need to hear that sometimes. And you totally made me cry. Thanks for always getting me. =) I love you!

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