Take me for what I am.

“Take me for what I am, who I was meant to be, and if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me…”

Seriously, how can you not love the awesomeness of Maureen and Joann’s duet, “Take Me or Leave Me,” in Rent? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, we’re so not friends anymore. Okay, fine, we can be friends, but promise you’ll google it. Actually, I’ll do you one better — click here for your listening pleasure. Seriously, do it.

Anyway, I totally digress. But the point of the song is basically that Maureen is who she is (a total flirt) and Joann needs to accept that or move along. Over the weekend I thought a lot about my neuroses (and discussed some of them with Miss Dubs) and realized that I am far more set in my ways than was at 19. Or 22 even.

This led me to the deep thought that sometimes we (this is the general, collective we of singles every where) get so wrapped up in what we want/need/require of another person in order for a relationship to be possible that we forget (read: ignore) the fact that we have some characteristics or habits or nervous ticks that another person will have to tolerate in order to be in said relationship. WHAT?! I’m not perfect? I know, you’re shocked. Okay, you’re not, but you could have at least pretended for my sake.

Let’s examine some of my less–than-endearing qualities:

– Per Miss Dubs, when I’ve had a few too many cocktails, I tend to sleep on the floor. It appears that I prefer it. I’m pretty sure nothing about this is sexy, fun or particularly charming.

– I organize my grocery list based on the lay out of the store. Usually, I write out my list based on the menu I’ve planned for the week and then re-write based on the floor plan of the store where I will do my shopping. I find this completely logical. Most of my friends seem to think it is a waste of time and paper and a completely anal retentive behavior.

– I over-analyze. A lot. Apparently, I picked up this behavior in law school. I hear it’s really annoying. But why would anyone think it’s annoying? Do I care if they think it’s annoying? What does annoying even mean? (You get the picture, no?)

– I sleep in the middle of the bed.

– I am dark and twisty on the inside. I can be a total self-loathing downer from time to time. (When I start referring to Counting Crows and the Twilight Saga obsessively, you’ll know I’m in my scary place.)  When I’m like this I pout. I mope. I am a colossal waste of space.  It is unattractive. I’d avoid sad me if I could.

There are a million other things I’m oddly particular about (chapstick, my hair, ink pens/pencils/highlighters, etc.) that I will spare you from reading about. Besides, I don’t think I really want the entire blogosphere to know just how nutty I really am.  (But if you’re really interested, I’d say Miss Dubs, Miss H, & Miss PoliSci have the most intimate knowledge of my crazy since they’ve all lived with me. Lucky them!) .

The point is I am weird. We’re all weird. And I’m starting to think the older we get the weirder we are. Plus, we become more and more set in our ways. I am used to being on my own, doing things my way and I like it.  But I’m starting to worry that I don’t know how to incorporate someone else into my lifestyle. And even more so, that I’m ever going to find someone willing to put up with all of my idiosyncrasies.

I guess I’m going to have to work on toning down my crazy. And I probably need to learn to compromise. Well, when the time comes anyway. I just don’t want to become too weird because I think that’s how cat lady’s are born….

Do you think you have character traits that are hard to tolerate?  Are you worried that you’ll have a hard time compromising the things you are weird about in order in to be in a relationship? Or do you think that you shouldn’t have to compromise and your (hypothetical) partner should take you exactly as you are?



Filed under Etc., Love

4 responses to “Take me for what I am.

  1. Mrs. BW

    First: I think you start to turn into a cat lady, after the acquisition of your third cat.
    Second: Trust me, we all have character traits that can be difficult to deal with for others, especially for those that don’t care about us. And in answer to the final question, don’t compromise yourself! When you compromise yourself you’re changing yourself, and you will be changing away from whatever initially attracted your partner! (Which is what I was trying to communicate to PoliSci (?) yesterday.) Compromise in arguments and situations, don’t compromise your idiosyncrasies; they’re the only things separating you from being everyone else!

  2. Miss Dubs

    I have to agree, I do think about this from time to time. I think I have gotten so used to doing my own “thing” that I forget that their was a time when I incorporated someone else in my life. I hope that when the time comes I will be ready to change…at least I hope I will. But I agree, the weird things that make me, me, are something I don’t think I can give up. I think they make me interesting and different, and that someone should love me for them. I believe there is a little quote at the end of SATC that sums it up… “If you find someone to love the you that you love, then that’s just fabulous!”… Just a few words to live by…

  3. Pingback: Inept. « Quarter Life Confused

  4. Dee

    I don’t think there is anything weird about that list… seriously!

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